Consequences
by Lithoniel Sedai
Summary: Set directly after Something Blue. Rated R for safety, may come down. Everything that is Spuffy goodness resides in this fic. Also, much Riley hating.
1. Default Chapter

I own nothing, Joss and co. own everything. depressing isn't it.  
  
Set straight after Something Blue. Everything has been canon up until now, except I'm pretending that Buffy and Riley have already kissed. Hope you like it.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Spike lay back on the sofa in Giles living room, listening to the rain pattering outside. It had been two days since Willows 'Will Be Done' spell. Two whole days for Spike to have blocked out the disgusting experience from his brain.  
  
Spike had tried everything, from drinking himself into unconsciousness twice, to looking through the many spell books that Giles kept in his house in search of a forgetting spell. He even considered going to Red, so that she could find one, but given her recent history Spike felt that he would rather be stuck with the memories.  
  
And that was what had happened.  
  
No matter what he did, how much he tried to forget, all he could think about was the feeling of the Slayer's tiny little body pressed flush against him, her lips hungrily ravaging his as they.  
  
Bugger.  
  
Spike shifted slightly as he adjusted his pants for comfort.  
  
Bloody librarian, going out for the day, leaving Spike with no one to annoy to take his mind off this. thing.  
  
It wasn't the fact that he wanted to take her, throw her across a table and have his way with her that he minded so much. She was bloody gorgeous bint, and he would have to be blind not to notice her. Lust was fine, he could deal with lust.  
  
But this. this was different. This was something deeper and it scared him. This was something that made his unbeating heart sing when he remembered the way she stared up at him with those adoring eyes. The despair he felt when she had clambered off him, with disgust and hatred in her eyes, when Red had turned up to break the spell, forcing him to mimic her actions to save face. The way he actually felt guilty for telling her damn Scoobies that she wanted to play that bloody awful song at their wedding. The only time he had ever felt anything even remotely similar to this in the whole of his unlife was with. Dru.  
  
Oh bloody sodding hell.  
  
He was startled from his thoughts by the click of the door opening.  
  
'It's about bloody time you got back, Rupes. I've been bored outta my mind with no one to.'  
  
'It's not Giles,' Spike sat up with a jerk, swinging his legs over the side of the lounge to face Buffy. She was wearing a thin pink top and a pair of light cotton trousers. Both were absolutely soaked, her hair was hanging in limp, dripping rats tails; and there were black rivulets of mascara running down her face.  
  
'Bloody hell, Slayer, you look like death.'  
  
Buffy chuckled mirthlessly. 'And that coming from a vampire. Maybe that's why.'  
  
'Maybe that's why what?'  
  
Buffy shook her head, 'Nothing.'  
  
She wrapped her arms around herself and Spike noticed for that she was shivering, goosebumps raised on her bare arms and her teeth chattering uncontrollably.  
  
'How long have you been out there?'  
  
Buffy shook her head vaguely. 'I dunno, I don't think I've been home since I went patrolling.'  
  
'Last night?' Spike raised his eyebrows incredulously. 'It's been rainin since early this morning.'  
  
'Has it? I didn't notice.'  
  
Spike grabbed her arm. 'Look, let's get you outta those clothes and into some dry ones.'  
  
'Why?'  
  
'Why? Why, you stupid bint? Cause you're gonna get soddin pneumonia if you don't get warm soon.'  
  
Buffy looked at the floor muttering under her breath, 'would that be such a bad thing?'  
  
Spike's eyebrows rose again as his vampiric hearing caught the whispered words. He didn't comment however, just steered her upstairs.  
  
'Let's get you something dry to put on. I think old Rupes keeps some spare clothes around here somewhere. They'll be to big, but it's just till we dry out your clothes. What were you patrolling in such thin stuff for anyway?'  
  
'Less constricting for fighting.'  
  
Spike nodded, ignoring the voice at the back of his mind taunting him.  
  
'Ok, pet, lets get you changed.'  
  
******************************  
  
Spike was back on the sofa when he heard Buffy coming down the stairs. He looked up, marveling that she could make the ex-watcher's oversized tee shirt and sweatpants look like high fashion. She had taken her make-up off and she looked younger, more vulnerable somehow. No one would ever believe that this was possibly the strongest Slayer that this world had, and was likely to ever see.  
  
Buffy made her way over to the sofa and sat on the edge of it, twisting her hands together, fiddling with her rings and biting her bottom lip, an action that was driving Spike crazy.  
  
'Is there something wrong, Summers?' Spike moved, unconsciously mimicking her action of sitting on the edge of the sofa.  
  
'No,' replied Buffy, staring at her hands.  
  
'Well. yes.'  
  
'Can I help?' *You wanker! What's she gonna think? She'll figure it out and then you'll be staked sooner than you can say fresh blood.*  
  
'Why would you want to. never mind. No you can't.'  
  
Spike nodded, his body relaxing as he realized that she wasn't going to push the matter.  
  
'Actually, maybe you can.'  
  
*Don't sound too eager, don't sound too eager*  
  
'I can?' Spike cocked his head to look at her, puzzled, as she began to blush and look infinitely unhappy at the same time.  
  
'You know.' she began, her voice so quiet that if he hadn't been a vampire he may not have heard her.  
  
'When Will did her. spell and we. you know.' Her eyes never lifted from their place on the floor and her discomfort became even more obvious.  
  
Spike's heart wrenched to see her acting so uncomfortable about what they had shared, and the fact that she looked like she was about to burst out crying wasn't helping either.  
  
'Yeah, luv?' He tried to sound calm, to put her at ease.  
  
'Am I.'she cleared her throat and tried again, 'amIabadkisser?'  
  
'Sorry, pet, I didn't quite catch that.'  
  
'Am I a bad kisser?' Her voice was small and her eyes darted around the room, looking anywhere but at him.  
  
Spike swallowed. He hadn't expected that at all. Now, what was he supposed to say? Ah, well. They do say honesty is the best policy. even though 'they' are pathetic humans.  
  
'What would make you think that, Slayer?'  
  
Buffy bowed her head, resignedly. 'You're avoiding the question, I'll take that as a yes.'  
  
Bugger.  
  
'Bloody hell, luv. You are not a bad kisser. You're the best soddin kisser I've had the privilege to kiss.'  
  
If he had thought his exclamation would have made her feel better, he was sadly mistaken.  
  
Buffy's bottom lip started trembling and a tear came to her eye, she tried to blink it back furiously.  
  
'Are you ok, Slayer?'  
  
'W - well then, am I ugly. I'm ugly and repulsive aren't I. I told Willow I was repulsive.'  
  
'You aren't soddin ugly, luv. Auurgghhh. You are the most gorgeous Slayer I've met. Hell, you're the most gorgeous girl I've ever met. Even Dru couldn't hold a candle to you.'  
  
Buffy bit her lip as tears began pouring down her cheeks and she hid her face in her hands.  
  
'Then, hic, whudosnhewanme?'  
  
Spike moved closer to her, gingerly putting his hand on her back and rubbing it soothingly, aching to put his arms around her and hold her, but not daring too.'  
  
'Sorry, luv?  
  
'Why *sniff* why doesn't Riley want me? Am I a horrible person? If I'm so pretty and such a good kisser, then why doesn't he want me?'  
  
Spike grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her around, looking into her eyes.  
  
'You are not a horrible person. You are the most generous person I have ever met. and not killed because of it. This Riley bloke is a soddin fool, if he doesn't want you, luv.' Buffy stared shyly at him. 'Really?'  
  
'Any man would have to be blind not to want you, Buffy. Even.'  
  
'Even?'  
  
Spike shook his head. 'Nothing, pet. Now, what did the wanker say?'  
  
Tears filled Buffy's eyes again and Spike cursed himself for bringing it up again. He was a bleedin vampire. How was he supposed to know what to say to make her feel better?  
  
'He, *sniff* said that he couldn't *hic* be with me. That I *sniffle* blow to hot and cold. One minute I like him, the next I am making up stories to get away from him.'  
  
'Stories?'  
  
'W-when Willow did the spell and we were. you know, and I had gone out to the magic shop I saw Riley and told him I was engaged. The I had to tell him I was just joking and he was. he said *sniff* he was ok with it. That it was "just another piece of the Buffy puzzle" and n-now he doesn't *hic* want anything to do with me.'  
  
Buffy looked up at Spike with huge tear-filled eyes, and began to cry again. Huge wracking sobs that caused her whole body to shudder and she wrapped her arms around her stomach and placed her head on her knees.  
  
Spike had to blink back his own tears. This was his Slayer, the strongest he'd ever met and this wanker had completely destroyed her. He reached out again and placed his hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him and with a heartbreaking wail, buried her head in his shoulder.  
  
'Th-they all l-leave.'  
  
Spike wrapped his arms around her, stroking her hair as she snuggled even closer to him.  
  
'Who do, pet?'  
  
'Men. F-first my dad, he doesn't even call on my birthday anymore. Then Angel. and I loved him so much. Parker. *sniff* he was never mine anyway. I just thought he was and now Riley. I guess that's why the other Slayers were always alone. it's not that they wanted to be, they were forced to be. The only man who stays with me is Giles, and that's because he was paid too, and now he has nowhere else to go. But as soon as he finds somewhere, he will. They always do.'  
  
Spike felt like he was being ripped apart to hear her talking like that.  
  
'Shhhhh, Buffy. It's alright, luv. If Rupes leaves, I'll get this soddin chip outta my head and hunt him down myself.'  
  
Buffy's strangled laugh turned into a sob and her body resumed it's shuddering in Spike's arms. He gently sat back on the sofa, half lying down, leaning against the arm rest, with Buffy cradled in his lap.  
  
'Shhhhh, I won't leave you, luv. I'll never leave you.' He felt her relax as he rubbed soothing circles on her back through the fabric of the shirt she was wearing. Her cold and sleepless night was taking its toll on her and he listened as her breathing slowed to a gentle rhythmic pace and he settled off to sleep.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Well this started as a one shot, but I think it's going to end up more as a short story. Probably not more than five chapters, please review and tell me what you think. 


	2. Chapter 2

Here is the second part of Consequences. This fic is a slight problem for me, cuz it was only meant to be a one-shit and now I have no idea where it is going. I'm hoping it's gonna be one of those ones where you start writing and everything just flows, cuz otherwise I'm screwed.  
  
Also, I am sick of typing ellipses (that's what the three dots are called, right?) and them not turning out, cuz of the crappy formatting on ff.net, so I'm trying a new way. If it looks ooky, I'm sorry. It's just a trial run.  
  
So, on that awkward note, on with the story.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Giles gratefully stepped under the awnings around his door, clutching the collar of his overcoat closer around his neck as he shook out his umbrella.  
  
'Damn rain,' he cursed. 'You'd think that once you've left Britain the rain would go away, especially in a place called Sunnydale. But, no, I am followed around by incessantly inclement weather and . . . dear Lord, now I'm talking to myself.'  
  
He fumbled in his pocket for his keys, his frozen fingers finally clutching them and inserted the correct one in the lock. He swung the door open and stepped inside, placing the umbrella in the stand.  
  
Taking off his coat, Giles turned around to look for the annoying vampire who was sharing his house.  
  
'Good Lord!'  
  
Looking over at the sofa he saw his Slayer, dressed in what looked suspiciously like his clothes, curled up - asleep - in the lap of the master vampire who had his arm curled around her waist, her face snuggled into his shoulder.  
  
Giles took a tentative step forward, and Spike stirred, looking around for what had woken him up, his arm tightening protectively around the slim waist of the girl in his lap. He saw Giles, and his face blanched . . . looking for all the world like he had been caught making out by his girlfriends father.  
  
Spike shifted a bit, trying to sit up, but Buffy murmured incomprehensibly and snuggled in further.  
  
Giles raised an eyebrow at Spike, some of his Ripper alter-ego showing through.  
  
'What in the name of all that is good is going on here?  
  
Spike shook his head and raised his fingers to his lips, nodding to the sleeping form of Buffy.  
  
Buffy, however, wasn't asleep. She had awoken when Spike had moved and was now lying a still as a log, trying to keep her breathing even so she could compose herself and come up with a reasonable excuse for being found sleeping with Spike.  
  
'Don't go getting on your high-horse, Rupes.' He said in a low voice. 'The Slayer here hadn't slept since the night before last, and turned up dripping wet, so I got her some dry clothes and she fell asleep.'  
  
'And you just decided to assign yourself pillow duty?' Giles voice was dripping with sarcasm.  
  
'Look, Watcher, the bint was cold and upset and needed a shoulder to cry on, she came to you, but you weren't here. . . which is bloody ironic, really.' Spike added under his breath so Giles couldn't hear.  
  
'Upset? What's wrong with her?'  
  
Spike felt Buffy tense, confirming his suspicions that she wasn't as asleep as seemed. He raised a comforting hand to her shoulder, out of Giles line of vision, and rubbed her shoulder soothingly.  
  
''m not gonna say anything, luv,' he murmured into her ear, as Giles tapped his foot, folding his arms as he waited for an answer.  
  
'Well?'  
  
Spike looked up at the man and a look crossed his face that Giles had never seen before. He couldn't exactly explain what it was, it was openness and closure at the same time; it was pride and humility. . . and it was something else that Giles put from his mind as soon as it crossed it.  
  
'It's the lady's business to tell, not mine.'  
  
'Spike.' Giles tone was warning.  
  
Spike shook his head as his other arm came up to hold Buffy. 'You'll have to stake me before I say anything.'  
  
Giles gave the vampire a cold look and walked across to the stairs. 'I don't know what you're playing at, Spike. I'm not sure that I want to know, but you'd better be extremely careful from now on. . .'  
  
Spike grimaced at the unspoken warning.  
  
*Bugger, soddin Watcher's onto me*  
  
'Buffy?' Spike shook her gently. 'He's gone, Slayer.'  
  
'Gone where?' Buffy raised her head to look into Spikes eyes, her close proximity making him uneasy. Spike sat up, and swung his legs over the side of the sofa, depositing Buffy onto the seat next to him.  
  
'Hey!' Buffy pouted. 'I was comfy.'  
  
The sight of that bottom lip had Spike fighting back a groan. I looked so juicy and soft. . . he longed to nibble at it, suck it into his mouth where he could gently massage it with his tongue. . .  
  
'Soddin Hell!'  
  
Buffy jumped at his sudden and loud exclamation.  
  
'Spike? Are you ok?'  
  
Hang on a moment. When did she start caring if Spike was ok?  
  
*When he started caring if you were.* A little voice at the back of her head whispered.  
  
'Yeah, Summers, I'm just peachy,' Spike muttered into his hands.  
  
Buffy stood, uncomfortably hovering between staying and trying to figure out what was wrong, and running far far away where she could try and sort out these confused thoughts and feelings that were suddenly assailing her mind.  
  
'Well, I'm gonna go home, get changed and. . .' Buffy glanced out the window at the darkening sky.  
  
She sighed. '. . . go patrolling,'  
  
'You want some company, luv?' What? What are saying, you soddin fool?  
  
Buffy raised her eyebrows at him, incredulously. 'What? You can't even fight!'  
  
'Well, y'see I've bin thinkin about that. I don't reckon those bloody military blokes would count demons and such as human, so I might be able to hurt them.'  
  
Buffy looked thoughtful for a minute, her eyes growing distant. 'Hmmm, you could be onto something there, but I don't think it's a good idea. Giles would never buy it, after coming home and finding. . .' she gestured to the sofa.  
  
Spike nodded, slumping back disheartened.  
  
Buffy hid a smile. He looked so cute when he sulked.  
  
*No! Not cute. Very very bad vampire with extremely uncute tendencies.*  
  
'Er, uh. . . well, I'll talk to the Giles when he's cooled off, see what he thinks.'  
  
'Are you sure you wanna be slaying, Summers? You could still be weak. . . and with no back-up. . .'  
  
'I'll be fine, Spike. I need some time to think and stuff, and slaying helps me vent. Quit with the concerned act already, anyone would think you wanted to stay around me, and we both know that isn't the case. What's your angle anyway? Why are you suddenly so interested?'  
  
'Bloody hell, woman! You were just in here cryin your bleeding eyes out on my shoulder, an emotional wreck. Is it too much to believe that I'm simply worried about you?'  
  
'Actually, yes. You have spent the past two years trying to kill me, so you'll excuse me if I don't completely trust you.'  
  
Spike looked away from her, he knew he was caught, 'Fine, Slayer. Whatever. . . I wont take up anymore of your precious time.'  
  
Buffy looked at him hard for a moment, before turning and leaving, slamming the door behind her.  
  
'Bollocks! Bloody, buggering bollocks!'  
  
*You know she's right, she has no reason to trust you. You're just another vampire to her, she just pities you because you are a hopeless waste of space*  
  
'Shut up.'  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Buffy slammed the door behind her and breathed in the fresh air. Checking her watch, she knew she had about fifteen minutes to get back to the campus before the vamps started appearing.  
  
She began to jog, praying that Giles's oversized pants wouldn't decide to take a vacation to her ankles before she got safely in her room.  
  
What was Spike's problem anyway?  
  
Her mind took a rapid detour from Giles's pants.  
  
Where did he get off being so. . . nice? Spike was being nice?  
  
Her mind ran over the earlier occurrences that day, trying to find a catch to his behavior, but she couldn't.  
  
He hadn't taunted her over losing yet another guy; he had gotten her clean, dry clothes to change into, he had comforted her when she had broken down; he had even kept the reason for her breakdown from Giles, and discretion, especially when the issue concerned Buffy, was definitely not one of Spike's strong points. She looked around, and found she had made it up to her dorm room without even noticing. Closing the door, she pulled of the enormous shirt and reached into a drawer for one that fitted.  
  
As her fingertips brushed her skin, she recalled Spike's fingers, holding her, rubbing her back soothingly as she cried into his shirt. The way they calmed her and relaxed her when she was scared that he would betray her secret. The loss she felt when he sat up, sliding her from his lap onto the sofa.  
  
But most of all remembered the safety and feeling of belonging she had felt when she had awoken, cuddled up to him, his arms around her protectively.  
  
'Shhhhh, I won't leave you, luv. I'll never leave you.'  
  
The words sprang unbidden to her mind. She had been falling asleep when he had said them, and they had remained forgotten until now.  
  
'I'll never leave you.'  
  
Buffy remained frozen in the middle of the room as she contemplated the meaning of those words. They rung with sincerity, and something inside her told her that she could trust them.  
  
*After all* the voice in her mind reminded her. *He keeps coming back, and even if it was only to kill you, that does show dedication and commitment. Which was much more than anyone else was showing her recently*  
  
Wait! Stop! You are thinking of Spike in terms of commitment. What is wrong with you? Evil, blood-sucking fiend, remember? The slayer of two Slayers. He is destined to hate you. . . but he kisses so well.  
  
'What?!?!?!?!' Buffy screeched to the empty room. She felt dizzy and stumbled to her bed, flopping back on it.  
  
'Oh no, oh no, oh no.' Buffy closed her eyes to try and block out the images of blue eyes and chiseled cheekbones, and the way he had kissed her under Willows spell. Such fire and passion, she had never experienced the like.  
  
'NO! No fantasizing about Spike. He is mean and heartless and evil.'  
  
But. . . he hadn't been acting mean and heartless and evil. He had been kind and sympathetic.  
  
Ever since that spell, he had been acting differently to her. The bite was usually contained in his insults wasn't there anymore. He had been quieter, although maybe it was her imagination, she hadn't hung around him much since the spell.  
  
It was too awkward.  
  
A scream from outside startled her from her reverie, and she quickly pulled on a pair of jeans and grabbed a stake from her top drawer, running from the room.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
So, what did you think? 


	3. Yes, it's an update Chapter 3

Exams are over, exams are over, and exams are over. I slept in this morning. . . and tonight I can go to bed without falling asleep over study notes that I know I am never going to learn by the next day.  
  
YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY . . . and more importantly . . . more time to update my fics.  
  
Well, here we go. lets hope the exams didn't completely frazzle my brain.  
  
**indicates mimed words**  
  
#indicates written words#  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Chapter 3 - Hush Revisited - Major "Hush" spoilage.  
  
Buffy sat in her usual seat in Psyche, listening to Professor Walsh. Usually her mind would be drifting in and out as she doodled on her notebook and took a few vague notes, hoping Willow would bring her up to date after class. Today however, she found herself paying close attention to the lecture.  
  
'So this is what it is. Talking about communication, talking about language. Not the same thing. It's about inspiration, not the idea but the moment before the idea when it's total, when it blossoms in your mind and connects to everything. It's about the thoughts and experiences that we don't have a word for. A demonstration . . . Buffy Summers.  
  
Buffy looked up from the point she was writing to see most of the class staring at her. A quick glance to the front of the room informed her of Riley's presence.  
  
Buffy closed her eyes briefly and swallowed as she tore her gaze from his, uncomfortable one. She handed her notebook to Willow, who gave her an encouraging smile and made her way down to the front of the class.  
  
'A typical college girl . . . one assumes.'  
  
Buffy's eyes flew up to meet her teachers. *U-huh, I'm your typical college gal, who participates in the popular extra curricular activities of vampire slaying * Buffy thought wryly.  
  
The professor's next words startled her from her thoughts. 'Lie down on my desk.'  
  
'Wh - what?'  
  
'Go ahead, you're perfectly safe.'  
  
The class began murmuring as Buffy shot an astonished glance at the older woman, before gingerly hoisting herself up and laying back on the desk. The back of her neck began to tingle and Buffy tensed.  
  
*Perfectly safe, huh?*  
  
'Now,' Professor Walsh clasped her hands together as she faced the class. 'I would usually use Mr Finn for this demonstration, but he has regretfully declined the offer. William, would you oblige instead?'  
  
Buffy tilted her head to look at the class, she didn't recall there being a William in Psyche. No one seemed to be rising from their seat and she looked at Professor Walsh in confusion.  
  
A cold hand touched her the back of her shoulder and she whirled around to see Spike smirking at her from behind the teacher's desk. Buffy flinched and looked wildly at Willow, who just smiled, apparently oblivious to the fact that Spike wasn't supposed to be in their class, or even out in sunlight.  
  
Without a word he moved around to the other side of the desk. Buffy propped herself up on her elbows to watch him, as he stalked to her side. The smirk was wiped from his face as he stood looking down at her, his expression unreadable.  
  
Buffy held her breath as slowly he bent down to her, bracing one hand on the desk and the other gently on Buffy's waist, coaxing her up toward him. She exhaled shakily and he allowed a small, and surprisingly sincere smile to grace his lips.  
  
Buffy glanced at the class, who were taking notes and staring out the window as if their was nothing odd about the lesson.  
  
'This feels very strange,' she murmured as Spike drew her even closer.  
  
'Don't worry,' Spike replied, his eyes twinkling. 'If I kiss you it will make the sun go down.'  
  
Buffy drew her eyebrows together in confusion. 'Why bother? You don't seem to be going poof, even though we are in dayl-'  
  
She broke off as Spike lowered his head and brushed his lips against hers. She froze for a moment before tilting her head to kiss him back.  
  
He tasted exactly the way she remembered. Cold, but somehow different from Angel, his mouth tasted like strength and passion. She savored the lingering ash from his cigarettes and the bitterness of the scotch he had pilfered from Giles.  
  
Buffy slid her hand up his arm and pulled his head further down to hers. She felt a breeze and suddenly it seemed colder. She pulled back to find the classroom empty and that the sun, had indeed gone down.  
  
'See.' Spike stood back to allow her to slide off the desk.  
  
'Fortune favors the brave.' Buffy replied, smiling slightly. A noise suddenly caught her ear and she turned toward the door.  
  
'Do you hear that?'  
  
Making her way through the halls of Sunnydale University, she followed the noise, until the muffled humming became discernable words and Buffy spotted a small girl standing by the doors, singing.  
  
Buffy froze for a moment. The girl looked so. . . familiar.  
  
'Can't even shout, can't even cry. The gentlemen are coming by. Looking in windows, knocking on doors. They need to take seven and they might take yours. Can't call to mom, can't say a word. Your gonna die screaming, but you wont be heard.'  
  
Buffy felt Spike's hand on her shoulder and whirled around to see a horrifying, skeletal creature grinning insanely at her, before she jerked awake.  
  
'So I'll see you all on Monday for a final review session.'  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Buffy placed the piece of paper with the song in front of Giles.  
  
'There, majorly ooky stuff. Especially the whole Sp . . . er, spouting off of scarily visual rhymes by a small sweet blonde girl, who bares startling resemblance to me.'  
  
Giles scanned the paper. 'It sounds vaguely familiar . . . are you sure it's nothing you heard when you were a child, if the girl bares some resemblance to you at that age, then it would indicate a subconscious level of . . .'  
  
'Do you want me to answer the question, or are you gonna send me back to sleep before I can?'  
  
Giles whipped off his glasses and began polishing them. 'Oh, terribly sorry. . . do carry on.'  
  
'Er. . . what was the question?'  
  
Giles glared at her before repeating the question, slowly, enunciating every word. 'Are you sure, that you didn't hear this rhyme as a child?'  
  
Buffy slumped against the wall. 'Pretty sure, although I didn't really like nursery rhymes, so I didn't pay much attention to them.'  
  
'Well it could definitely be one of your prophetic dreams, or it could just be the eternal mystery that is your brain.'  
  
'Hey! My brain is not mysterious. I have a perfectly normal and unmysterious brain.'  
  
'Alright, alright. I'll check it out.'  
  
'Thank you.'  
  
Giles shook his head as he moved toward the bookshelf to remove a few volumes.  
  
'Well, since you're here, you can help with the research.'  
  
'Hey, that's your job, I'm the action gal, you are the research guy.'  
  
'Well, as you don't seem to be getting any action, you can do some research.'  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes and picked up one of the tomes. She moved to one of the chairs and flopped down in it, as footsteps could be heard coming down the stairs.  
  
'Who's not gettin action?' Spike stuck his head into the sitting room on his way to the kitchen.  
  
Buffy cringed. She had managed to avoid Spike for about two weeks since she had broken down in front of him. She knew he was just waiting for an opportunity to rub her crying fit, as well as the reason for it, in her face.  
  
She had passed his behavior off as trying to find out all that he could about her pathetic lovelife so he could torment her.  
  
And now this dream, was making her even more uncomfortable. If it wasn't a slayer dream, then Buffy would have to deal with the implications of having had a mildly erotic dream about Spike in the middle of Psyche class, and if it was a slayer dream . . . Buffy didn't even want to contemplate what that could mean.  
  
She slumped further down in the armchair, hoping Spike would go back upstairs without seeing her. At this moment he was banging around the kitchen complaining about the lack of Weetabix.  
  
'I though vampires were supposed to eat blood,' Giles was saying.  
  
'Yeah, well, sometimes I like to crumble up the Weetabix in the blood. Gives it a little texture.'  
  
Oh damnit. He was coming over.  
  
'Since the picture you just painted means that I will never touch food of any kind again you'll just have to pick it up yourself.'  
  
'Sissy,' retorted Spike leaping onto the couch holding crackers and peanut butter. He turned his head to see Buffy curled up on he other chair, a book held up to shield her face.  
  
'Bloody hell!' he exclaimed, falling from the couch in shock.  
  
Giles straightened up from where he had been crouching to look in a cupboard and looked half amusedly and half wearily at the vampire now laying on the floor. He rolled his eyes as Spike clambered back onto the sofa mumbling about quiet slayers giving poor unsuspecting vampires heart attacks.  
  
'Your heart doesn't even beat,' he reminded Spike.  
  
'Yeah, well, a shock like that could have made it start again. Why are you sitting there curled up so quietly, Goldilocks?'  
  
Buffy didn't raise her eyes from the page that she hadn't started reading yet.  
  
'Research.'  
  
'Well, you could have warned a bloke you were there.'  
  
Spike looked slightly hurt as Buffy ignored him, to turn the page. 'What are you researching?'  
  
When it became apparent that Buffy wasn't going to reply, Giles spoke up. 'A group called the Gentlemen, have you heard of them?'  
  
'Nope, sorry.' Spike said absently, staring at the top of Buffy's head, willing her to look at him. She hadn't been around in ages, and Spike had told himself that she wasn't avoiding him, but now it was becoming apparent that she had . . . and that hurt more than he cared to think about.  
  
'Summers, can I talk to you for a mo . . .' he was cut off by the door swinging open and Xander marching in followed by Anya.  
  
'Well I think we should talk about it now.'  
  
Giles raised his head from a book, 'Thank-you for knocking.'  
  
Xander turned to Anya, 'If you don't know how I feel about . . .'  
  
'I don't,' Anya's distressed voice replied. 'This isn't a relationship. You don't need me. All you care about is lots of orgasms.'  
  
Spikes head shot up as he peered incredulously at the pair over the back of the sofa, Buffy bit her lip to keep herself from giggling at Xander's humiliated expression and Giles rolled his eyes.  
  
'Ok, remember how we talked about private conversations? How they're less private when they're in front of my friends.'  
  
Spike propped himself up on his arm to get a better view. 'Oh, we're not your friends. Go on.'  
  
'Please don't,' Giles begged.  
  
Anya turned to Buffy. 'Xander, he doesn't understand my pain. He cares only about himself. I am here too, I form half of this dual, co-dependant relationship, but he doesn't seem to realize that.'  
  
Buffy took pity on the ex-demon, who looked as if she were about to cry. 'It's not just Xander, it's every man in the world. Living and undead.'  
  
Spike looked over at Buffy, trying to fathom her meaning. 'On behalf of my undead sex, I take offense.'  
  
Buffy still didn't look at him. 'I was referring to Angel, but if you wanna include yourself with him, be my guest.'  
  
'Hey! I am not like soddin Peaches.'  
  
'Do shut up, Spike.' Giles pinched the bridge of his nose. 'Xander I need you to take Spike for a few days.'  
  
'What?'  
  
'What?'  
  
'What?'  
  
'I'm not staying with him,' groused Spike, climbing to his feet.  
  
Giles continued, unperturbed. 'I've a friend who's coming to town and I'd like us to be alone.'  
  
'Oh, you mean an orgasm friend?' asked Anya curiously and Buffy ducked her head to hide another smile, before pulling a face at the thought of Giles having sex.  
  
'Yes, that's exactly the most appalling thing you could have said.'  
  
Xander interrupted. 'He's not roaming around. If he stays with me, he'll get tied up.'  
  
'What about our romantic evening?' Anya whined over the top of him.  
  
'I'm not having these two shag while I'm tied to a chair.'  
  
'That's not exactly one of my fantasies either.'  
  
'You're blowing off our evening for him? Why can't he go to Buffy's? It's not as if she can keep a man long enough to get to the orgasm stage, without him leaving her, so she won't have any problems.'  
  
The entire room fell silent an Anya's last remark and Buffy bowed her head, flushing as tears rose to her eyes.  
  
Calmly she stood and walked upstairs and into the bathroom, closing the door with a soft click behind her.  
  
Xander's face was white with shock and mortification, Giles was resting his head in his hands and Anya just stared around the room.  
  
'What? It's true!'  
  
Spike was clenching his jaw so hard he thought his teeth might crack. He strode over to Anya and grabbed her by the shoulders.  
  
'You wanna be treated like a human, demon-girl? Try to fucking act like one, starting with a bit of sensitivity, if it's not beneath you.'  
  
Xander, who would usually have leapt to the defence of his girlfriend with some remark about vampires and sensitivity, but he glanced at the floor and said nothing, then raised his head to watch Spike follow Buffy's move up the stairs. He looked at Giles and mouthed **what was that all about?**  
  
Giles grimaced and shrugged.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Buffy sat on the cold tiled floor next to the bath, her arms wrapped around her knees tears sliding silently down her face.  
  
She didn't know how long she sat there but was startled from her mournful thoughts by a knock at the door.  
  
'Slayer? Summers, are you alright?'  
  
Buffy scrubbed her face with her hands, not wanting Spike to see her crying again . . .she had humiliated herself enough, for the month.  
  
'Slayer? Buffy?'  
  
She continued to ignore him, and drew her legs even closer into her body.  
  
'Buffy, let me in.'  
  
Still she ignored him, he was not going to see her weak like this.  
  
'Open the sodding door, Buffy.' He was starting to sound panicked, but Buffy had slipped back into her thoughts and didn't even hear him.  
  
A growl sounded from outside the door, as Spike paced up and down. Why wasn't she answering? She wasn't about to do anything stupid was she?  
  
He felt in his pockets for the bit of wire that he kept for picking locks. He crouched outside the door and jiggled the wire, his other hand clenching and unclenching impatiently as he waited for the tell-tale click of the lock.  
  
'Slayer, I'm coming in.'  
  
Spike pushed open the door to see Buffy awkwardly clambering to her feet, hiding her face behind a shield of hair.  
  
'Bloody hell, Buffy. Why didn't you answer me?'  
  
'Go away,' she muttered.  
  
'Sorry, Slayer. `S not gonna happen.'  
  
'Look Spike!' Buffy finally lost patience.  
  
'I know what you're doing, and don't you think you have got enough of my humiliating experiences to torture me with now? When will you just let up and leave me alone? I've got enough shit in my life without having a bleached vamp follow me around to remind me how crap it is, any time it looks like I'm likely to forget.'  
  
Spike took a step backward, his hands in the air.  
  
'Now just one minute, that was demon-girl makin bitchy comments, I came up to see if you were alright. The only one who is torturing you is yourself. Ignore the sodding demon-girl. She's just feeling all vulnerable 'bout the Whelp, and she's taking it out on you.'  
  
Buffy looked up at him with red eyes, from beneath her hair. 'When did you get to be so smart?'  
  
'`ve been around for a long time, luv. You pick up a few things over the centuries.'  
  
Buffy cracked a weak smile as she turned to the basin to wash her flushed face. She heard the door close, but although she couldn't see him in the mirror she could sense he was still there. She turned to look for a towel to see him sitting on the side of the bath, looking up at her, his head cocked to one side.  
  
'What?'  
  
*Did you know you're beautiful, even when you're all flushed from crying? Even your swollen pink nose, is gorgeous.*  
  
'Spike?' Buffy waved her hand in front of his face. 'Are ya in there?'  
  
'Oh, yeah, sorry, Slayer,' He brought himself back to earth with a start.  
  
'I was thinking, since Xander obviously doesn't want you at his place, you can crash with me and Will's on campus if you want.'  
  
Spike raised an eyebrow. 'Are you sure 'bout that, luv. You've been avoiding me for the past two weeks, and now you want me to play slumber- parties with you?'  
  
'I wasn't avoiding you, I have been very busy these past two weeks.'  
  
'Yeah, with what?'  
  
'Slayer stuff.'  
  
'Oh, so busy with Slayer stuff that you don't visit your Watcher?'  
  
'Giles isn't my Watcher anymore, he got sacked. And I meant school work.'  
  
Spike raised both eyebrows this time.  
  
'I did, and I was!' Buffy defended herself. 'And we aren't playing slumber- parties, you need a place to stay while Giles . . .'  
  
Her shudder spoke volumes.  
  
Spike smirked. 'I must admit, I didn't know old Rupes had it in him.'  
  
'Bleaugh, I didn't want to know.'  
  
Buffy glanced out the bathroom window. 'It's dark now, so if you wanna get your stuff, I'll get you into the room before I go and patrol. I'll sunproof it when I get back, cuz your gonna have to stay there during the day as well.'  
  
'Do you have a telly?'  
  
'Nope, we're getting one soon.'  
  
'Bloody hell, what am I supposed to do all day?  
  
'Hmmmmm, you can do my homework,' Buffy replied brightly.  
  
Spike growled.  
  
'It's only history, so it wont be too hard for you. You were alive for most of it anyway. And it's gotta be better than hanging around with Xander and Anya all day.  
  
'You got that one right. If I had had to listen to them all bloody night,'  
  
His voice took on a high-pitched tone. 'Xander, don't you love me anymore? We never talk. Xaaaaannnndeeeer.'  
  
Buffy giggled. 'Poor, Xan. I don't think he had a clue what he was getting into when he said he'd take Anya to the prom.'  
  
'Is that how they got together?'  
  
'Yup,' replied Buffy, popping the p. 'And she hasn't left him alone since . . . oh, except to run very far away when she found out the mayor was planning on ascending. Of course, she came back afterwards, unlike some . . .'  
  
She shook herself and smiled. 'He's gone, I'll get over it. Let's get your stuff, and I'll ring Willow so she doesn't wig when she comes home from Wicca group to find you in our room. The last time you were there you tried to eat her.'  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Buffy entered the dorm room at about ten thirty, to find Willow asleep and Spike sitting on her bed reading through her note-book.  
  
'Give me that,' Buffy snatched from his hands, making sure to keep her voice low so she wake Willow.  
  
'Why are you still awake?'  
  
'`m not really a sleep at night, hunt during the day sort of animal, so I was waitin to make sure you got back alright. Red, here was going to, but she looked tired so I told her to get some shut eye.'  
  
'Awwww, you're just a big softy under the fangs and bumpies, aren't you.'  
  
'I bloody well am not. I am the Big Bad of this town.'  
  
'U-huh, the Big Bad who is sitting on the Slayer's bed reading her History notes, while he waits up to see that she gets home ok.'  
  
Spike growled.  
  
Buffy giggled.  
  
He rolled his eyes in defeat and lay back on the bed. 'How was patrol?'  
  
'Boring. I found one vamp the entire night.'  
  
'Wanna do something to work off the frustration?' Spike raised an eyebrow suggestively as he moved into a mock seductive pose.  
  
Buffy felt herself blushing as she threw a pillow at him.  
  
'Pet? A pillow fight wasn't quite what I had in mind.'  
  
Buffy blushed even harder. 'Spike, I am going to the bathroom to get changed, when I come back you will be off my bed and on the floor like a good little vamp who doesn't wanna be staked. Got it?'  
  
She snatched up her pajamas and practically ran from the room.  
  
When she came back, mentally prepared for another battle with the blonde vampire, she was both surprised and slightly disappointed to find that he had got off her bed, turned back the sheets and was sitting in the corner of the room playing with Mr Gordo.  
  
Buffy plucked Mr Gordo from his hands and with a brief, 'Goodnight Spike,' clambered into bed and clicked off the light.  
  
She lay silent for a few minutes before, 'Slayer . . .'  
  
'Yes, Spike?'  
  
'Can I have a pillow?' Buffy clicked on the light to find him sitting in the corner, pouting.  
  
'Are you pouting, Spike?'  
  
'I don't pout, Slayer. You are the one who pouts . . . or don't you remember.'  
  
*Ohhhh, pouty. Gonna get it, gonna get it*  
  
Buffy blushed at the memory. 'That was the spell. Shut up.'  
  
She threw a pillow to him and he caught it deftly.  
  
'Blanket?'  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes. 'Nope, only got one and it's all mine.'  
  
She clicked off the light again, and all was silent for a few more minutes. Then Buffy felt the bed shift and felt a cold body clamber in with her.  
  
She reached out and slapped him, before pushing him violently off the bed and clicking on the light.  
  
'What do you think you are doing?'  
  
Spike looked up at her from his position on the floor.  
  
What was he doing? He hadn't even though about what he was doing, he just climbed into bed with her.  
  
*You fucking fool! Did you think she was going to welcome your presence in her bed? You are a daft wanker. She wouldn't want anything to do with you. Vampire/Slayer relationship, remember*  
  
'I, er, that is . . . I was . . .' He broke off, not knowing what to say.  
  
Buffy looked down at the confused and crumpled vampire laying on the floor, looking up at her with such a bemused and petulant expression that something inside her melted.  
  
'I don't know why the hell I am doing this, but . . .' she patted the bed next to her.  
  
'You're not a large vamp, and if you keep your hands to yourself . . .' she trailed off again as he looked at her in shock, before his eyes lit up like a little boy at Christmas time.  
  
'Just make sure you get out again, before Willow wakes up. I don't want her having a coronary before class.'  
  
Spike just nodded and slipped in between the sheets and Buffy reached over him to turn the light out. She moved as far away as possible to put as much room between them.  
  
After what seemed like forever, as she was finally falling asleep, she felt a cool hand tentatively touching her shoulder, and when she made no move to push it off it slipped down to her waist, pulling her close.  
  
Ignoring the little voice at the back of her head screaming at her to think about what she was doing, Buffy snuggled into Spike's gentle embrace and sighed contentedly, never noticing the thin wisp of smoke escaping her mouth as she fell into a deep slumber.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Spike opened his eyes with a gasp of pain as the sunlight burst through one of the drapes that had fallen during the night. He clutched his hand to his chest and leapt away from the gap.  
  
**Sodding hell** Spike screamed, blowing on his singed hand.  
  
It was a moment before he registered that his scream hadn't woken either of the girls up.  
  
**Slayer?**  
  
An astonished look crossed his face as he again tried to speak. **Slayer? Summers! Buffy!**  
  
He sidled around the stream of sunlight to shake Buffy's shoulder. **Wake the bloody hell up, Slayer**  
  
Buffy sleepily opened her eyes and stretched, before the stench of burnt skin drifted past her nose, causing her bolt upright and search frantically for a pile of dust. Spike, fell backwards as she shot up, tumbling to the end of her bed cursing, despite the fact that no one could hear him.  
  
Relief softened Buffy's face as she saw the platinum vamp nursing his hand on the end of her bed.  
  
**Good morning**  
  
Buffy looked puzzled for a moment, before trying again.  
  
**Good morning**  
  
Spike's perplexed eyes met Buffy's as they both tried in vain to make themselves heard.  
  
**What's going on?** Buffy mimed.  
  
Spike shook his head and shrugged his shoulders and nodded his head toward the sleeping Wicca.  
  
Buffy nodded and climbed out of bed, crossing the room to shake Willow awake.  
  
Willow felt someone shaking her shoulder and she burrowed further underneath the blankets, when the shaking didn't relent, she sleepily opened her eyes to see Buffy's face burred above her.  
  
Willow smiled and rubbed her eyes, clearing her vision and causing a worried Buffy to swim clearly into view. Willow looked at Buffy's expression and sat up.  
  
**What's wrong?**  
  
Spike rolled his eyes, as Willow repeated the same gestures as he and Buffy had. A thought struck him and he moved to the door, opening it gingerly to avoid any sunlight in the corridor. As he cautiously poked his head out, a girl ran past crying and began banging on a door, two rooms down. A group of pajama clad college students were congregated down the end of the corridor, all looking frantically around and contorting their face in bizarre shapes.  
  
Spike shook his head at the absurdity of the human race, conveniently forgetting that he had practiced many of those same gestures, not ten minutes before. He pulled his head back into the room and knocked on the wall to get the girls attention. He flipped a thumb in the direction of passage and Buffy poked her head out for a moment before turning back to the scared looking red-head and the bleached vamp.  
  
They all stared at each other, wondering what to do next when the phone rang. Buffy and Willow exchanged a glance before Willow indicated that Buffy should take the call.  
  
Buffy picked the phone up, rolling her eyes at herself as she tried to say hello. After a moment she placed the phone back in its cradle and shook her head, flopping back down on the bed.  
  
Spike looked over at Willow who was scribbling away on a piece of paper. She clicked to get Buffy's attention and held the paper up.  
  
#We should get to Giles#  
  
Buffy nodded and slid off the bed to walk over to her wardrobe, where she pulled out a black pair of trousers and a floral, slightly peasant styled shirt. Then she grabbed some underwear from one of her drawers and glared at Spike until he turned around, muttering, despite the fact they couldn't hear.  
  
When he turned back again both Buffy and Willow were dressed.  
  
Willow moved to the door but Buffy held out a hand to stop her. Willow raised her eyebrows enquiringly and Buffy nodded to Spike, before pointing to the sky. Willow made an "ohhhh" face and, walking to the window, pushed the drapes aside to indicate the slightly overcast, drizzly weather.  
  
Buffy looked at Spike who shook his head, and taking Willow's pen and paper, wrote in a flowing Victorian script.  
  
#Not enough cloud cover, I'd burn to a bloody crisp#  
  
Buffy rolled her eyes at Spike's inability to stop swearing, even in writing, but she nodded and passed the paper to Willow.  
  
**What will you do?**  
  
Spike shrugged and bent to continue writing.  
  
#I'll bugger around here 'till it's dark enough for vamps. You two go to Giles and stay put. No knowing what sort of nasties will come out in the chaos. I'll trot along when it's dark enough#  
  
Buffy glared at him. **Slayer here! I can take care of myself**  
  
Spike squinted at her angry miming, but catching the general meaning rolled his eyes, and Buffy could almost hear his response in her head.  
  
Willow touched her shoulder and Buffy smiled at her and moved toward the door. Turning around, as she place her hand on the handle she glared at Spike.  
  
**Don't touch anything**  
  
Spike pouted, but nodded an acquiescence.  
  
Buffy held the door for Willow and was about to follow when a cold hand stopped her. She turned in frustration, to find Spike holding out a purple shawl and nodding to the windy weather outside. She looked like she was about to yell at him, but changed her mind at the last minute and smiled gratefully and wrapped it around her shoulders before closing the door behind her.  
  
Spike stared at the closed door for a minute, and with a frustrated sigh rested his head against it.  
  
What the hell was wrong with him?  
  
He flopped down on the Slayer's bed as he relived the past two days.  
  
*Number of nancy boy actions toward or around the slayer. Fell off sofa Chased her upstairs after demon girl insulted her Burst into bathroom in panic, in case she had hurt herself Comforted her Waited up to make sure she didn't get hurt on patrol Slept with her in her sodding bed (although can be excused as was cold) Cuddled the bleeding slayer all bloody night (can also be excused due to cold) Didn't get a bloody wink of sleep all night due to close proximity to Slayer Appeared concerned about her well-being Gave her a sodding wrap to keep herself warm.  
  
What in the name of all that belongs in hell is wrong with me?*  
  
Spike stared up at the ceiling for an hour, pondering his strange behavior, before the lack of sleep the night before caught up with him and he rolled over, snuggling under the Slayer scented sheets and hugging her pillow to his middle.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Meanwhile Xander and Anya, after Xander had tried to ring Buffy, had gone straight to Giles' and were sitting in front of the TV when Buffy and Willow entered.  
  
Xander leapt from his seat and raised his hand in a jerky sort of welcome to the girls before lowering his head in despair at the situation. He watched as Willow wrote a sweet #Hi Giles# on the two message boards they seemed to have picked up somewhere when a though struck him.  
  
He waved his hand to grab Willow's attention as Buffy and Giles looked at some scribbling on a piece of paper that Xander hadn't been able to make head nor tail of.  
  
**Where's dead-boy junior?**  
  
Willow's brow wrinkled as she tried to determine what he was trying to say.  
  
Xander shook his head, and looked self-consciously at Willow before screwing up his face and running at her, with his hands mimicking claws. Willow took a hurried step backward, before realizing what he was trying to say, and smiled.  
  
She scribbled on her board. #He couldn't come out on the sun, so we left him at the dorm, I think he was going to do Buffy's homework#  
  
Xander looked at her incredulously, before grabbing the board off her.  
  
#You left the evil undead untied and alone in your room?#  
  
Buffy glanced across at the board as Willow read the message and glared at Xander, before writing on her own.  
  
#He can't do any harm, lay of him for a while#  
  
Xander looked at the writing as if it was a foreign language and looked as if he was about to try to say something, but Willow laid her hand on his arm and shook her head.  
  
Suddenly Anya clicked at them frantically and turned up the TV, so they could all hear the report.  
  
Willow listened with half an ear as she looked curiously at the woman sitting in the corner, holding an enormous glass of scotch. She must be Giles' "orgasm friend". Willow giggled silently as she remembered Spike telling her about Anya's little scene the day before.  
  
Willow looked at her best friend who was watching the TV intently. Spike had told her about what Anya had said to her the evening before, and although he tried to make it sound like no big deal, Willow was sure there was more to it than that. More than once Spike had looked like he was about to say something more, but caught himself before he did.  
  
Willow had also been shocked to wake up for a glass of water in the middle of the night and find the two cuddled up together in Buffy's bed. She made a mental note to ask Buffy about it as soon as they had a moment in private.  
  
The news item ended and Buffy tapped Willow on the shoulder holding up her board to her and Giles.  
  
#Keep researching. I should be in town tonight#  
  
Willow waited while Buffy tried to explain to Giles why she would be needed in town, and not the cemeteries, and when Giles appeared to get the general idea she dragged Buffy into a corner and pulled her onto the floor next to her.  
  
Knowing that she shouldn't jump right in and ask about Spike, she wrote a simple message on the board.  
  
#What do you think is going on?#  
  
Buffy closed her eyes before shrugging. She clambered to her feet and brought Giles note-pad over to their corner.  
  
Willow read the scribbled notes and looked at Buffy, who mimed back **Slayer dream**.  
  
Willow nodded as she wondered how to broach the subject of Spike she picked up her marker and wrote on it as Buffy looked over her shoulder.  
  
#Should we have left Spike some blood?#  
  
Buffy smiled and wrote #I picked some up on the way home from patrol yesterday#  
  
Willow scrutinized her friend for a moment, before sighing and writing again on the board, cringing slightly as she handed it to Buffy.  
  
#I saw you and Spike last night, making with the snugglies#  
  
Buffy turned bright red and looked frantically around the room before vigorously rubbing the message off.  
  
She picked up her own marker and held it poised above the board for a few moments before, hesitatingly beginning to write.  
  
#We weren't snuggling, as such. He was cold, and didn't have anywhere to sleep, and he looked so sad when I kicked him out.#  
  
Willow raised an eyebrow.  
  
#So you let the evil, bloodsucking vamp share your bed. . . #  
  
#It's not like that. He can't do the bloodsucking thing. . . and he isn't that evil. He was nice yesterday when Anya was being a bitch.#  
  
#Yeah, he told me about that, why don't you give me your version#  
  
Buffy sighed. #It wasn't anything. Anya said something about how I can never keep a guy, and I ran up to the bathroom and Spike followed me up#  
  
#That's it?#  
  
#Well he kinda broke into the bathroom when I didn't answer him. . . and he was really sweet, saying Anya was being all insecure and I shouldn't worry about it. Pretty profound for a vamp, actually#  
  
Willow nodded and they wiped their boards clean. Buffy smiled at Willow and got up to grab a research book while Willow leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes.  
  
A vision of Spike swam into her mind from the day before when he was relating the tale to Willow. She had noticed a softness in his eyes, that she had never seen before in any vamp, except . . . Angel.  
  
Willow's eyes sprang open and she jumped to her feet without realizing it.  
  
Spike was in love with Buffy.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Buffy walked briskly down the eerily silent streets of Sunnydale. She had already dusted six vamps in the hour that she had been out. Apparently they were taking advantage of the inability for their dinner to scream. But what really pissed her off was the fact that the real menace in the town at that moment was frustrated humans, and she was unable to use even a fraction of her power to take them down, for fear of hurting them or blowing her cover.  
  
Buffy's annoyed musings were suddenly cut short as she glanced ahead of her and saw Riley heading toward her. She stopped dead in her tracks as the TA continued toward her, not having seen her yet.  
  
Buffy kept watching him, unable to focus on anything else, she dimly noticed her spidey-sense tingling the back of her neck, but the overwhelming numbness that filled her drowned it out. She could hear Anya's voice ringing in her head.  
  
* 'It's not as if she can keep a man long enough to get to the orgasm stage, without him leaving her, so she won't have any problems.' *  
  
Riley looked up at her and suddenly reality flooded back. She could be mature about this, she could. She smiled tentatively at Riley, waving her hand in a slight wave. Yes, she could be mature about this, they were just two casual college acquaintances. She smiled a bit wider, then faltered when his face lost none of its stoicism. He deliberately looked her up and down, and turned on his heel and walked away.  
  
Buffy blinked back the sudden tears.  
  
*I will not cry over this loser again*  
  
God, why did she even care? He wasn't that special, there had been minor sparkage, but nothing earth shattering. Why did it hurt so much?  
  
*Maybe because he was living proof that she couldn't even keep a "normal guy" interested for more than a week. *  
  
Spike, almost morphed out in anger as he watched the pillock stride down the street as if it belonged to him. He had been on his way to pick up some blood from Giles house, now that the sun had gone down, and had witness the whole incident.  
  
Before he even realized what he was doing he had crossed to her side of the street, had sprinted the 250 meters to her side and was now standing with his arms wrapped protectively around her as she fought back the tears. He remembered Anya's words and suspected that they were haunting her more than the actual bloke himself.  
  
After a while Buffy pulled back, having gained control of her emotions. She looked everywhere but him, ashamed of having nearly been reduced to a crying, quivering mass now three times in the past month, and all over the one guy.  
  
*At least you didn't actually cry this time.*  
  
Spike waited for her to compose herself, before grasping her forearms, and forcing her to look at him.  
  
**Are you ok, Slayer?**  
  
Buffy offered him a small smile, and rolled her eyes, mocking herself. She nodded her head and squared her shoulders.  
  
**I'm fine. Sorry**  
  
**Riley?**  
  
Buffy looked away again and nodded.  
  
Spike looked after the retreating form of Riley and vamped out, he turned to her an raised his eyebrows questioningly, a comical look for what was once the Big-Bad of Sunnydale.  
  
Buffy giggled and Spike slid back into his human guise. He looked at the people milling around, scared and confused and rolled his eyes, causing Buffy to hit his arm. He mock-grimaced and rubbed it. She rolled her eyes and gave him a gave him a sarcastic hug.  
  
Buffy was just wondering whether the hug was growing to lengthy, but damn he did smell good, when a scuffle broke out over the other side of the street, causing her to pull away. She glanced over at them, regretfully, and Spike looked down the street to Giles house.  
  
**Go be a white-hat** he mouthed, nodding to the crowd gathering around the two.  
  
Buffy raised an eyebrow at him and waved her hand, questioning his destination.  
  
Before Spike could figure out how to answer, his stomach made a loud grumble and Buffy giggled again.  
  
**Giles?**  
  
Spike nodded looking down the street. Buffy glanced over at the growing crowd around the now, full blown fight and stepped around him. He suddenly panicked and grabbed her arm, she looked back at him, confusion marring her features.  
  
Spike looked at her as he tried to translate what he was feeling without words. After a minute of floundering, he gave up and pulled her towards him, dropping a chaste kiss on her forehead.  
  
**Be careful**  
  
Buffy smiled and squeezed his hand, before turning her back and marching toward the crowd. Spike paused for a minute, watching as she separated the pair and mentally cursing himself for doing something as stupid as kissing her. He continued staring at her for a minute, almost crying out when a man brought a crowbar down from above her, and sighing in relief as she caught it mere millimeters from her skull and sent the man crashing into a wall.  
  
Satisfied that she wouldn't come to any harm from refusing to hurt humans, and aided by the now incessant growling in his stomach, Spike sauntered off toward Giles apartment, his duster flaring around his heels as he did, a confident figure amongst the frightened ones.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Buffy staggered towards Giles house, wearily dragging the cross-bow. She could hear excited screaming coming from all the surrounding houses, and Willow and Xander's voices were raised to a higher octave than usual. She smiled as she took opened the door and took in Xander, Willow and Anya dancing around the room singing. Giles and Olivia were sitting in a corner talking very fast.  
  
"Buffyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!'  
  
Buffy winced as Willow bounded over to her, dancing around the room.  
  
'Um, ow. Wills, calm down, ow, that hurts.'  
  
Buffy pulled away from the red head, whose face was pink from her exertions, and fell backwards onto the sofa, narrowly missing Spike, who curled his legs away just in time.  
  
'Congratulations, Buffy!' Giles beamed down at her. 'You really did it.'  
  
Buffy sighed. 'Um, no actually, I didn't do it.'  
  
'What's that?' Xander looked up.  
  
'Riley broke the box, all I did was scream.'  
  
'Riley?'  
  
'What was he doing there?'  
  
'You still screamed, though, and that killed them.'  
  
Buffy looked down. 'He broke the box, while I held off the Gentlemen. And may I say how freaky their minion things were. It was like, they got stuck halfway through evolving from apes.'  
  
Giles looked at her. 'But what was Riley doing there?'  
  
Buffy looked up at him. 'He's a Commando.'  
  
'One of those sodding ponces who stuck this bleeding chip in my skull? Gee, goldilocks, your taste in men hasn't improved much over the years, has it?'  
  
Buffy's shoulders slumped. 'Thanks, Spike. I had kind of figured that out for myself. I'm gonna go now, see you all tomorrow.'  
  
'Buffy!' Buffy paused in the doorway as Willow ran up to her.  
  
'Ignore Spike,' she whispered. 'You couldn't have known, it's not your fault.'  
  
Buffy smiled wanly as Willow gave her a hug. 'Doesn't make me feel any better, though.'  
  
The two wandered outside the door for a moment. 'I don't get it, Wills. Spike was being all nice about it, he comforted me when Anya was being a bitch. Oh well, I guess it was one off thing, and he'll go back to being a bastard like they all do. I was thinking as I came back here after the gentlemen's head blew up. . . every single guy I have been close to has betrayed me. Dad, Angel, Giles with his taking away my powers, and Xander for not telling me you were trying to soul Angel. Oz didn't, but I was never really close to him, but he betrayed you with Veruca.'  
  
Willow looked at Buffy sadly.  
  
'Oh, sorry Wills. I'm just kinda flat. Spike reminded me how pathetic I actually am. I'm gonna go back to mom's house and raid the Ben and Jerry's section of the freezer and sleep there tonight. I need some comfort, and mom comfort is always good.'  
  
Willow nodded, 'Ok, I'll see you tomorrow, though if you don't want to come class I'll make your excuses.'  
  
'Wow, Willow Rosenbourg assisting someone cut class. I must look depresso- girl. See ya, Wills.'  
  
Willow gave her a hug and went back inside. She looked over a Spike and glared when he looked up guiltily at her. She was sure he'd been eavesdropping with his vamp hearing.'  
  
She casually flopped down on the sofa next to him, and with a large, happy smile on her face as she watched Xander teach Anya the snoopy dance, muttered under her breath. 'You can be the most insensitive prick sometimes, Spike. You realize now, that she is going to go home, climb in through her window so her mom doesn't know she is home and cry through every pint of ice-cream that is in her freezer. Then she is going to be depresso-girl for a week, her slaying will drop and she will fail all the quizzes we have coming up in school and then have to do catch-up work during the vacation.  
  
I thought you guys were getting past your strained truce and becoming friends, or at least being civil. I saw you in her bed, and she wouldn't allow just anyone to sleep in her bed, let alone a soulless vampire who she despises and doesn't trust at all. If it was your plan to get her to relax around you and then start messing with her head, then congratulations, it worked. But if it wasn't and you do have some friendly feeling for her which I can tell that you do, then you had better be ready to do some groveling, Mister. Cuz, from what she said out there, she has already lost that tiny amount of regard and trust that she had for you, and if you aren't careful, you will lose her altogether and you will just be another vamp in a graveyard that needs to be staked.'  
  
Spike growled, stood up abruptly and stalked out the door. The rest of the room looked up, for a moment as it slammed behind him, then shrugged and returned to what they were doing.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Spike stalked up and down the streets of Sunnydale muttering to himself.  
  
'Why the bloody hell should I give a toss what the Slayer thinks of me? The witch doesn't know what she is talking about. Why would I want a friendship with the Slayer? Why would I want anything with the Slayer except a mutual hatred of each other.'  
  
An image of her rose unbidden to his eyes, he remembered how he felt when he kissed her forehead, and the way he felt like purring when she had hugged him. The thought of her sitting alone in her room, crying because of something he had said in a fit of rage was uncomfortably painful, but nothing compared to the feeling he got when he though that she might never see him as anything but a hated enemy.  
  
'Bollocks! I may as well make sure the chit isn't about to kill herself or anything, cuz where would be the fun in that?'  
  
Spike made his way swiftly toward Joyce's house. He considered trying the door, but after his last visit he didn't think Joyce would want to see him. . . he had kidnapped her daughters two best friends after all, plus Willow had said Buffy wouldn't tell her mum that she was home.  
  
Rolling his eyes as he recalled that this was his poofy Sire's main method of visiting the tiny blonde, he gracefully scaled the tree. As he neared the room he could hear strains of music drifting out the half open window.  
  
. . . I feel just like I'm sinking  
  
and I claw for solid ground  
  
I'm pulled down by the undertow  
  
I never thought I could feel so low  
  
oh darkness I feel like letting go  
  
If all of the strength and all of the courage  
  
come and lift me from this place  
  
I know I could love you much better than this  
  
full of grace  
  
full of grace  
  
my love  
  
So it's better this way, I said  
  
having seen this place before  
  
where everything we said and did  
  
hurts us all the more  
  
its just that we stayed , too long  
  
in the same old sickly skin  
  
I'm pulled down by the undertow  
  
I never thought I could feel so low  
  
oh darkness I feel like letting go  
  
if all of the strength  
  
and all of the courage  
  
come and lift me from this place  
  
I know I could love you much better than this  
  
full of grace  
  
full of grace  
  
my love  
  
As the song ended Spike cautiously peered in the window.  
  
Buffy was sitting on her bed holding a spoon and a picture. She placed the spoon in the tub of ice-cream sitting on the bed-side table and scooped out a large dollop. She moved the spoon toward her lips as she leaned forward to change the song that was playing. Her little tongue, even more pink that usual due the cold temperature of the ice-cream licked at the spoon.  
  
Spike tightened his hold on the tree branch.  
  
Then she slid the spoon in and then straight out of her mouth, still leaving some ice-cream on the spoon. Again, her tongue crept out, this time to lick at a melted drop on the corner of her mouth.  
  
Spike closed his eyes briefly and shifted his position.  
  
When Buffy turned the spoon upside-down and began licking the remains off, Spike stifled a groan and forced himself to look at something else. No point in getting caught spying on the slayer with a hard-on.  
  
Looking around her room, he saw an empty container of ice-cream on the floor and two more resting in a container of ice to keep it cool. Damn, but the chit could pack it away. . . how the hell she managed to stay so slim, Spike would never know.  
  
Spike looked back at Buffy to see her looking down at the photograph in her hand, tears once again welling up in her eyes. He growled softly when his Sires face looked up at him broodily.  
  
Bloody ponce.  
  
The vampire in the tree nearly leapt ten feet of the branch he was on as the Slayer suddenly through the picture so hard against the wall that the glass shattered and sprayed back at her. And she collapsed on the floor screaming.  
  
'You fucking bastard!'  
  
Spike wondered briefly how Joyce had failed to hear the noise before he leapt through the window and picked up the hysterical girl, cradling her in his arms as he stepped over the broken glass to place her on the bed.  
  
'Hey now, pet. Shhhhhh, it's gonna be alright. I've got you, luv. Calm down, shhhhh, just breathe. He's not worth getting worked up about, none of them are. I'm sorry I said that about you, I was angry and not thinking straight. Hush now, luv. It's alright.  
  
The sobbing slowly subsided, to a hiccupping sigh, and Spike rocked his mortal enemy as her breathing deepened and she slowly fell into a deep slumber, her tiny hands firmly fisted in his shirt.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
**Sigh of relief**. I though that chapter was never going to end. My only excuse for the lateness of it is that it much longer than the others. 24 pages as opposed to the six that I usually have.  
  
Hmmmm, could have something to do with the excessive amount of crying in Spikes arms that happens in this chapter.  
  
I'm sorry about that. I had the chapter completely planned, but it had other ideas and wouldn't co-operate. I've been in a shitty mood recently and I think it rubbed off on this chapter (which also took two weeks to write).  
  
Blah! I don't plan to have any excessive crying in the next chapter, in fact I don't plan to have any. . . but I didn't plan any for this chapter either and it just sort of happened.  
  
Well, hopefully less depressing angst for next time. . . I'm actually gonna be skipping ahead to right near the end of season 5 next chapter, so I am issuing a spoiler warning ahead of time. Well, I'm gonna go online and post this now. . . hope it doesn't suck to badly. 


End file.
